Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
