ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
