There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
