About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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