Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
