Grow some girl-balls and come out already
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
