ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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