I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
