She's JV to your varsity
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
