yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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