I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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