So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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