it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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