If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
