We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
