he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
