At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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