He kissed a someone with a penis
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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