I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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