my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I deserve this hangover.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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