Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
