Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
