you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
