I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
