her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
