ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
