I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
