Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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