I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
