I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
