yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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