it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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