Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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