I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
