So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
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