Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
