come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
