Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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