how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
