I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Randomize
