at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
