Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
