WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
