He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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