I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
