I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
