Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
