kristin has been a bad kristin
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
