Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
honey bunches of taint.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
