Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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