ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
