watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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