She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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