What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
