Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
