Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
